here to blog..

4th day of fyp.. not going as smooth as i though to be..

1st day of fyp.. was draggy... 9am briefing.. den 10 meet teacher for another briefing.. follow by briefing by in charge of wat project to do.. den it was lunch.. follow by heading back lab to read up on wat i suppose to do..

i doing something call WiT.. wat is tat ? i also don noe.. like programming ? yes abit.. like engineering drawing.. yes abit.. it realli is hard to understand.. dis is de website to it.. http://www.wit-igraph.com/default.htm

den day 2 n day 3 was almost de same.. got breafast time + lunch + tea break.. sound slack right.. but when u waste abit of time here den u do nth.. n noe nth.. u will start feel de stress..

ytd also had another briefing for my china trip... long briefing.. saying abt wat to bring.. wat we hav spend our $$$ own.. how much to bring.. wat is our schedule.. all those.. den noe who we r going wif.. whole afternoon time was spent on tat briefing.. when back to lab was already 5plus le.. everyday fyp is 8.30 to 6.. long n boring day.. lifeless..

reach home already tired.. it has been a long time tat when i slp.. i nv notice de rain is pouring heavily n ytd night was raining.. lucky parents come hlp mi close de windows..

ytd also had a dream.. dream tat u were sad.. crying.. but it was all a dream... a dream... do i still hav feelings for u ? yes i do.. do i still wan to hold u.. yes i do.. but... i am not worth it anymore..

1 week plus to go be4 i fly.. starting to pack my stuffs.. china is going to be cold.. n i cannot tahan cold.. easily having flu.. tink i will suffer over at china.. sighhhh...

update till here.. hav to go read up on my project... life is hard when hav to walk alone..

tml is de start of FYP...

dis 2 days was out most of de time.. it has been a long time.. since i was out till so late.. miss de good old days..

fri meet guan for supper at outram.. den walk to boat key.. head towards pj work place.. sit down n relax.. order 1 jug of beer.. i drink it.. nv finish it.. as i cannot take too much liquior le.. body cannot take it.. head home around 2plus am.. slp at 4am..

sat.. wake up around 11plus.. den head back to bed around 2plus.. actually wan to jog de... but leg cramp when i wake up n i drank beer few hrs ago so nv jog..

actually wan to play ball wif fab they all but raining so cancel.. in de end head to town.. went to watch movie.. slack around.. took 1st bus home... den slp at 8 ~ 9am...

around 12plus wake up.. bath le den head PS again.. ate lunch wif leo, leon, fab n wq.. leo book out on sunday morning n had to book in tat night.. si bei sian..

after lucnh walk abit den head home..

it was raining heavily when on way home.. was caught in de rain n had to run to cross de road..

now i am feeling tired.. walk past a few places tat holds grat memories to mi.. but.. i don noe how to continue..

update till here.. waking up early for briefing.. 12 weeks left to grad n 2 weeks be4 flying off to suzhou..

12 weeks of attachment is over.. nxt week going back skool..

bought chocolates for de colleague... the 2 aunties tat always take care of mi say i am de 1st IAP student to buy gifts for dem.. they are thankful for it.. so they treat mi lunch n breakfast..

today is jus de usual work.. jus try to hlp out wif watever i can.. doze off at work as usual..

2 more weeks den i am flying off.. dec 8th is de day i fly.. is also de day.. well.. u noe i noe everybody noe.. pain ? maybe ? maybe not ?

am i still bother by it ? yes ? no ? i also don noe anymore..

but i noe something... i nv felt dis uncomfortable be4..

i am sick n tired of being a nice guy

being nice to ppl doesn't lead mi to good ending

wat is de use of being nice

wat is de use of being kind

it land mi in deep trouble

it gives mi 烦恼

i don wan to be de 1 who clear dis trouble

who can i share dis kind of trouble

NO ONE !!!

NO ONE !!!

though keeping everything to myself is de best solution

once i say out

it makes me feel worse den i hav been feeling

parents nagging

saying they are concern

i noe they are concern

but 3 times

4 times

i hav my limit

i am no longer happy

I WILL NO LONGER BE HAPPY

I HAD IT

FUCK IT