how it feels when u noe u r going to be bankrupt...

a shocking news to mi.. is tat my dad told us tat my family maybe bankrupt be4 cny..

y ?

y dis happen ?

y ?

due to a fire.. de company tat my dad work for was blame for some cable problem tat lead to a fire on oct 1st..

1 yr den de fire occur.. n de blame is on my dad n another uncle.. dey need to pay for de dmg.. 300 千... 30 000... de insurance will pay 100 000..

but wat abt de 200 000 ?? divided by 2 ppl ?

i hav onli c my dad wif a face tat shows de word worried twice.. 1st time was when ah ma left dis world.. another was when my mom was in hospital having operation.. dis is de 3rd time i c dis face..

i am realli worried.. bad things keep happening.. dis is a bad yr..

21 yrs old..

de begining of all bad luck..

haizzz...

i now realli lost.. i don noe wat to do anymore..

felt so useless.. can't even hlp my dad..

i hope dis crises will be over..

dis past week nv did much stuff... raining raining raining... nv jog till thur.. jog back to skool den run 2.4 in skool be4 jogging back..

fri end work as usual.. took bus back.. once home.. relax n bath.. going out to eat zai.. cross road wif parents den had dinner.. eat hao.. jus go home n relax.. nv did much tat night..

sat wake up early n head to compass point meet ming hui n phong.. went sk swimming complex.. swim abit.. but googles spoil.. den tan abit.. be4 heading back to compass point bk for lunch.. den head home to rest myself.. move my room tv out of my room.. move a bigger tv into my room.. took a nap..

den bath n head out to uncle house for dinner.. mi drive to near boon keng dere.. parking at multi story carpark was ok.. den nv eat too much for dinner.. sit n relax.. around 8plus den head back..

drove to sk to des house.. des 21 birthday.. nv eat.. jus sit n relax.. watch tv.. stay till around 11 den took bus back..

once home.. prepare bag den watch tv till 1.. be4 slping..

woke up at 5.30.. as set wrong alarm timing.. bath den ate 1 apple for breakfast.. around 6 left home.. went to sk.. another uncle driving mi n dad to changi exhibition hall.. picking another uncle along de way..

change to shoes..n put on num tag.. den did warm up n head to de toilet.. around 7.50am start de 15km jog.. took part in de real run event.. weather was sunny... good day..

took my time to jog.. dad acc mi to jog.. de run was quite long.. but good pace for mi.. had a hard time running pass de beach due to sand.. n by de time i run across de sand.. i was tired..

finish de run in 1hr40 plus mins.. weather was hot to de max.. n i was exhausted due to nt enough slp.. den head to cool down.. change a chip tat was attach to my shoes for de goodie bag n tshirt.. den jus relax body..

after tat head to bath at 1 of de beach toilet.. den had lunch.. nv eat too much as i was too tired.. after tat head home.. slping along de way in de car.. once reach sk.. change back to dad lorry.. we head to buy 4D at hougang green.. i went to buy soya bean drink as was still thirsty..

once home.. online abit den bui tahan go off to slp at around 2plus.. once i wake up is 6plus 7 le.. went downstairs to buy light for my room light.. as my room light spoil.. den change it be4 having dinner..

after tat jus seat in my room n watch tv.. relax my body.. den went living room use dad leg massager.. slpt at 12plus..

today woke up by mom.. den bath n head off to work.. nth much happen.. jus normal work.. so bored.. so lonely..

tue finish work n went down to amk hub to settle my citibank card wif biao jie.. after tat head home.. skip dinner due to de afternoon lunch buffet n i was still full.. so i head out to jog.. jog to skool den jog back.. once home jus relax n watch tv...

wed.. go to work as usual.. nth much happen.. normal work.. after work dad come pick mi up.. den head home.. fab jio mi play ball.. den ok lo.. go down shoot shoot.. reach home around 9pm.. bath den eat dinner.. ltr jus watch tv..

thur.. work work.. bored to de max.. dad come fetch mi again.. went to jog wif him.. jog to seng kang.. jog home.. i was tired.. legs r abit shaky.. so tired... den jus relax n bath.. watch tv again..

today.. woke up abit late.. but i feel tired.. as last night didn't hav good night slp.. hav been waking up.. ARRRGGGHHHH... bad mood.. miss out 1 bus.. due to bus was full.. reach work abit late.. who cares..

de files i suppose to clear.. all done.. nth to do.. tired..

i hav been slping late quite often.. tired but once i am on my bed.. my eyes r wide awake.. sighh.. nth beats tat pain..

ytd finish work.. dad come pick mi up.. i drove back...

ytd dad eat zai.. so i park de car at our house downstairs n cross road to eat.. actually wan to sit at de coffee shop eat de.. but saw neighbour.. so we buy back.. as if we sit.. she sure pay for our meal de..

bought fried rice, mushroom noodle n guo tei.. so so onli.. share wif parents.. mom last min call us to buy.. as she don wan cook due to she need to eat med.. she isn't allowed to eat alot of oily food, chicken n quite alot.. n after eating de med she need to go to de bathroom alot of times..

once home.. carry de weights.. den bath n had dinner.. nv did much.. jus watch tv n relax.. slpt at 12plus 1...

morning wake up wif a headache not onli tat.. i felt pain at my heart.. bath le den rush out.. took 2 panadol be4 heading out.. ignoring tat pain..

reach work was 10mins late.. bought 2 curry puff n milo for breakfast.. eat hao start to do work.. den doze off le.. was feeling damn moody... bad day for mi..

nw lunch time.. but nt eating.. company treating us.. so de time for us to eat is 1.30pm..

nth much to update le.. go back to do abit of work so as nt to tink of anything..

i read dis frm my fren's blog...

When men see a hot woman, the thought process runs through a stimulus of varying questions.

They think:
1. I wonder how it feels like to be in bed with her?
2. Does she blow well?
3. I wonder if she licks ass?
4. I wonder if we have to spoon after sex?

When women see a hot man, they think:1. I wonder if he has a nice personality?i saw this somewhere nd i think it happens most of the time right? i mean, whats wrong with guys, cant they get even simpler? cant they just stop thinking about, BOOBS nd PUSSY. why must guys get involved in boobies all the while, like they either tends to laugh at flat-chested girls or overly-developed girls. then they will go round calling either "airport" or "dua neh bu". knn. we girls also dont call you guys "dua lan pa" or "lil dicky" right? yea, i think they will feel very proud to have big dicks, but not all girls like to have big boobies know. GUYS ARE FUCKTARDS!

after reading it.. i was once like tat.. hav though abt dis questions be4.. but now.. i don... i don hav de mood to tink of dis anymore.. jus tired of tinking...

days r jus getting more bored n bored.. feel so lifeless

jus so lonely.... sighhh.. =(

sat night meet az around 12plus.. went kovan hk cafe.. sit n relax.. while waiting for fab.. as he coming to pick us up.. he drove us to find leo they all.. all their ritz fren.. relax abit..

den all of dem quite tired so head home.. mi fab n az went to ponggol lasi lemak to relax.. chit chat lo.. chat dao around 5am 6 den head back.. slpt at around 7am..

10.30am woke up le.. cos fab n drey wan to go stadium jog.. so jus pei dem lo.. in de end.. fab oversleep.. den i jus head to stadium alone.. run my 2.4km.. de time i took de run was 11plus am.. sun was bright.. hot to de max.. run le den cool down be4 heading home..

once home.. mom say tat fab call.. dey gt went to jog.. but tink nt long i left dey reach.. oh well.. nvm.. home le go carry weights.. den cool down den bath.. nv eat anything n haven't slp much..

say tired.. but eyes don wan close.. in de end.. i sit at com n fa dai.. den go watch tv.. around 3plus in de afternoon den finally slp.. wake up around 6.. cos dad ask mi up.. he jus reach home.. n bought mi a jogging shoes as he went to collect de jog tag for nxt week..

he ask mi try shoes but i too tired le.. so i went back to slp.. den 7plus mom ask mi up to eat dinner.. no choice den wake up eat... after dinner biao jie ask mi pei her go eat dinner.. so i jus change n went out..

went kovan de new york new york.. i order 1 salad to eat abit n 1 drink.. i reach early so i activate my debit card.. nxt i wan to apply citibank card... den i went to buy some stuff mom hlp mi ask her.. den i head home by bus..

once home.. carry weights be4 heading to the shower.. slpt at 1am.. as couldn't slp.. watch tv.. watch 1 show tat de americans r giving away $100 000 away.. alot of $$$.. but gt rules.. sad... c de show so touching..

tink update till here.. nw lunch time n i skipping lunch.. nt hungry due to moring 2 curry puff.. siannn...

last week take afternoon nap.. i will tink of u.. don noe y.. sighh... i will be quiet abt it..

bloooggggg timeeee....

ytd finish work head down to town to meet derwin, phong, estee n hui hui... small gathering.. wan to go eat sakura de.. but abit ex.. so we went shopping 1st.. is mi shop la.. cos w8ing for ming hui to come as he gt napfa training.. den will be coming down abit later...

went heern to walk walk... i bought myself a bag for work.. leather 1.. n 1 new tshirt.. total up is around $75.. den walk walk.. saw some cool tshirts.. maybe nxt time den buy.. ^^

den ming hui come.. we went to cine to eat.. i spend around $42 for dinner... o.O quite ex right.. but de food nt tat nice.. but i was full.. even though my lunch was 3 biscuit + 1 pocky + 1 milo.. AGAIN !!! i was full frm tat..

den walk walk.. walk towards orchard mrt n took mrt to amk... estee took bus home.. mi n ming hui go meet king guan.. he injury his leg but still wan to come out.. i am ok wif it.. so pei him lo.. we chit chat till around 1plus 2... den head home by cab.. actually wan to meet fab they all de.. cos they wan to go gelyang eat dim sum.. but in de end nv.. head home den slp...

today.. wake up around 10 den meet ming hui n phong to go seng kang swimming complex.. swim, play n relax.. left de pool around 1plus.. den we head down to bugis.. taking bus 80 down.. bus ride was long.. slp in de bus.. but it was a bumpy bus ride..

reach bugis.. we went to had lunch.. for mi it was 1st meal.. as be4 swim i onli drink soya bean drink.. went fish n co to had lunch.. but i nv eat finish.. full when i was half way through eating..hav been eating less n less... good i guess ??? den went to walk walk.. i bought a leather cover for iphone..

we walk to the cathy as ming hui wan to buy sandal.. went newurban to buy.. actually wan to buy 1 sleeves t dis few days.. but abit ex n nth seems to attract.. so nv buy.. den took mrt home..

now i relaxing.. ltr submitting report to lect.. bored to de max... sigh.... when i bored... i start to anyhow tink... SIANNNNNNN......... don wan anyhow tink le..

oh ya......... i lost weight to 70kg le.. 2 months lost 8kg.. good progress.. i will keep it up..

here to update...

wed finish work as usual.. nv went to jog as it was raining.. went out to ntuc wif mom to buy some daily needs.. den dad come fetch us home.. den spend de night watching tv...

thur.. went to work as usual.. crowded bus.. siannn.... resume my normal work n complete it be4 noon.. manager nt here.. but supervisior here..

lunch = nap time... wake up frm nap den had lunch which is 1 cup of milo + 3 biscuit + 1 packet strawberry pocky... nv did anything after tat.. chit chat wif supervisior n de 2 aunties at work place.. they say since de manager nt here.. can relax.. n my dis supervisior rarely come chai chee as her place is at depot.. frm around 2plus tok tok tok till around 4plus nearly 5... den heard news frm 1 of de aunt tat manager coming down.. o.O ok lo.. he come den come lo.. around 5.20pm he come... i almost going home le.. jus act act.. act busy.. den go off le..

took bus to paya lebar mrt station.. as dad go dere fetch mi.. bought soya bean milk drinks.. den slp abit in de lorry as stuck at traffic jam along de way home.. once home.. change n head out to jog wif dad..

we jog to my skool... using de bus 72 route.. den jog into my skool.. pass de basketball court at blk M den de stadium.. after tat jog de bus 70 route.. den head to sengkang... be4 IMH head back home.. dad say around 15km... AROUND !!!! weeell... it feels good.. sweat alot..

den once home.. relax n carry weights.. bath n had dinner.. mom slp early as she nt well.. den i relax n watch tv.. slp around 1plus as couldn't slp... had a hard time slping dis few days..

today.. took de wrong bus to work.. took bus 854E.. de express 1.. de bus take de expressway.. when i was slping.. reach bedok interchange -.-!!! den i had to change bus again den walk to work place.. reach work place around 8.30am liao... nxt time i take bus mus c properly liao.. don stupid stupid take 854E.. nabei

i go back do my stuff le.. jus relax awhile to blog.. still feeling de after effects of some personal stuffs.. hate tat kind of feelings... =(

here to update blog...

monday after work head home by bus.. dad was quite far away so i go back alone.. once home.. head out to jog.. run around 8km.. wore my dad army training t.. o.O i can fit into his t wor.. den after de jog.. did de weights n bath..

ltr at night try out 1 of my old t.. i can wear.. last time de t abit tight at de stomach... but now.. it is ok.. a perfect fit.. maybe nxt time wear tat out..

tue.. went to work as usual.. did de usual stuff at work.. nth interesting.. den went home by bus again as dad was near home.. don wan him come down pick mi up.. once home.. relax awhile den head out to jog wif him.. went stadium to jog.. walk dere.. try to run for 2.4km.. its a good start as my pace was quite alright n constant.. dad say can pass.. den after tat cooldown awhile..

dad say try something.. say sprint for 200m.. den i say ok.. sprint wif him.. oh man.. 1st round was ok.. sprint 200m den walk 200m.. try for 3 to 4 rounds.. after de 1st round i cannot keep up wif him.. but it was fun... walk home.. nv did de weights as i was tired already..

oh ya.. mom went jb in de morning den came out at night.. buying dinner also.. she bought 2 boxers for mi... -.-!!!

today ? woke up wif a headache.. but hav to go work.. took 2 panadol be4 heading out.. den lunch took a nap.. bought lunch asking uncle for less rice.. i didn't event finish de food.. no appitate.. hav been eating biscuit n milo for lunch for alot of days le.. no appitate for lunch..

office is cold again.. freezing... ytd dreamt of u again.. i don noe wat to do anymore.. i will jus continue ignore it.. even though it was very painful.. i will be silence abt dis kind of stuff.. rather keep it to myself den saying out..

here to blog...

dis few days nv did much...

fri end work den head down to east coast park.. meet jess den ltr jiayang come.. had dinner at sushi tei.. quite nice environment.. but abit ex.. not worth it for me.. den jiayang drove us home.. but i ask him drop mi at seng kang den take bus back..

gav mom $100 house keeping allowance.. as i promise tat at attachment.. i will giv $100 every month.. den i went to withdraw den giv her..

sat.. wake up.. wan to go swimming.. but got dark clouds.. den nv go.. acc mom go grandma house.. bought her lunch.. took a nap at grandma house.. grandma wan to giv mi hongbao for my attachment n suzhou trip as a sign of good luck.. but i nv take as she nt working n still giv $$$.. long time nv go her house.. den once go she giv $$$.. i where wan to take it.. better keep it for herself to use..

den head home.. relax at home.. den 11plus 12 went out to meet zhe wei.. den fab n matt came along.. jus slack outside.. was abit hungry den ate mac... slack till morning 6plus am.. morning saw dad went out to jog.. den once i home.. mom was up as she going out.. i went to slp at around 7plus am..

woke up around 1pm in de afternoon.. den head out to jog in de afternoon.. abit crazy right ? weather so hot n sunny.. yeah.. sound crazy but i still head out to jog.. around 2plus come back.. relax.. den go bath.. dad nv buy lunch so i nv eat anything for lunch.. nt so hungry.. den i head back to slp.. mom came back be4 i took my nap..

was suppose to head out for dinner.. but mom go cook.. siannn to de max... den ok lo.. jus eat at home.. den after dinner jus watch tv.. around 9pm.. i did de weights.. sweat alot den head to de shower.. around 11 did de weights again.. dad say my arms look abit bigger.. tink is due to muscle ba.. den i watch tv as i couldn't slp..

my mind is spinning again.. i try nt to tink of anything.. i try to supress all my emotion.. but i still couldn't forget u.. i still miss u h.s.. i try to forget u.. i don hav de courage.. i'm trying to avoid everything.. keeping myself busy so as nt to tink so much.. but in de end.. i still tink.. i did cry at times at de middle of de night.. i jus auto cry.. i don noe wat i am doing anymore..

here to blog...

sat... woke up n head to swim... work start at 3 today.. long time no swim le.. so jus go swim lo.. after tat head home, bath n take a quick nap.. be4 heading out to work had lunch... sales was so so onli.. left around 10.30...

sun le.. wake up n head to jog.. den head to work.. work start at 1.. finish work at 11pm..

monday le.. no attachment due to company was close for hari raya.. wake up late.. den dye hair.. den almost night time... wan to head out to jog.. but raining so nv go.. den head out for dinner due to dad eat zai today.. so go eat zai lo.. den jus relax at home..

tue.. also wake up late.. company close for 2 days.. den relax till afternoon... work start at 6pm... dere was a traffic jam around paya lebar mrt station dere... quite bad.. today is last day of work for biao jie.. den work work work.. work till 5am... tiring.. how come so "early" go home ?

cos around 2plus am den close.. slowly pack de goods.. move de goods back into de van.. den move half way.. heavy rain.. cannot move de goods le.. den when rain stop.. continue moving.. uncle den drive de 1st batch of goods back due to van full n still gt goods.. den when putting de 2nd batch.. rain again.. den wait lo.. but dis time w8 awhile den hack le.. continue moving.. all dis goods hav to be unload at biao jie work place de show room.. was caught in de rain...

tat night was suppose to head out to supper wif leo, leon, fab n wq de.. but due to work.. delay till 5am.. feel bad for those guys.. w8 for mi.. sorry sia.. den finish work was hungry.. went down to kovan to hongkong cafe had breakfast.. fab n zhe wei came down look for mi due to they still out..

eat hao.. fab drove biao jie home.. n we went to chit chat.. chat till 9am plus.. i head home.. bath le den slp at wed morning 10am... tired to de max...

woke up at 4pm.. due to de morning work.. wake up relax awhile.. den head out to jog wif dad at around 6pm.. jog till ponggol mrt dere again.. but dis time jog more.. taking some detour.. feeling more used to de long run.. den once home.. did my weights den go bath.. mom nv bought dinner so she cook porridge.. den after dinner jus relax n chat at msn..

today wake up as usual for work.. raining in de morning... den head out to work.. nv ate anything from morning till now.. feeling abit hungry le i guess.. update till here.. still gt loads for work to do.. siannnnnnn