here to update blog...

dis few days nth much happen...

wed drive dad lorry back to skool.. had mac for dinner den attend briefing.. den buy dinner back for dad.. dad nv go cos he don wan go.. also nth much.. mom tat day also come back.. 4am in de morning..

thur.. go to work as usual... bus ride was ok.. den work work work.. busy busy busy.. den go home by bus.. once home.. change n went to jog wif dad.. jog around 12km ++ frm hougang jog to seng kang den to ponggol mrt station dere.. den back.. once home.. relax den go bath.. nv did much... online check mail n chat wif frens.. den go slp le..

today.. woke up n go bath... raining heavily be4 i left home.. had trouble reaching work place on time.. miss 6 buses due to fully crowded.. reach work around 8.20am.. den jus do my usual work.. lucky today manager n supervisiors nt here.. can slack abit.. den had lunch n watch dvd.. nv slp during lunch time.. den nw slack abit be4 go off...

ltr heading to work.. today frm 6 to 10 i guess.. ltr depend on crowd.. don noe wat to eat for ltr.. sigh...

hands r freezing.. i wearing 3 clothes.. n still cold.. still feeling down at times.. haizzzz.... update till here.. going off soon...

here to bloggg....

monday after work.. head home alone.. dad was too far.. but he ask mi go amk.. go buy shoes.. i say don wan den head home.. once home.. went to jog... de 8km route... quite refreshing... even though took nearly 1hr... den took weights n had dinner.. jus relax n watch tv... slp around 12plus...

ytd... woke up late.. quickly bath n head out... though was lucky as reach bus stop, bus come.. but den again.. i had to switch bus.. bus to work place was crowded.. fully crowded.. had to w8 for 3 buses be4 i board de 4th 1... had no seats lo.. jus stand stand stand... till around ubi nearby den ppl alight...

once at work place... jus did wat supervisior ask mi to do.. use supervisior desk as my desk de pc cannot access some stuff.. supervisior seat was more comfortable den mine.. gt a pillow also.. but de seat was freezing cold.. air con was nearer.. n de manager was behind mi... hate it..

den jus did my stuff till around 5.20.. den leave.. dad come pick mi as i heading down aunt house to collect cheque.. de guard was a ass.. liked look down on my dad tat he was driving lorry.. ask dis ask tat.. wtf.. waste time.. dad n mi was du lan... after de guard allow us to pass.. i took de cheque frm aunt n ask her on some stuff..

after tat jus head to J8 to settle dinner.. i sign up for de NEW BALANCE RUN... 15km.. doesn't sound liked mi right... take part in dis kind of events.. well.. jus go n try.. enjoy de run... den head home.. rest n watch tv till 12plus 1 be4 slping...

today le.. go to work as usual... smooth ride.. gt seats... tats a good start.. den did my work.. lucnh was early.. 11.45 ? den nw resting...

ltr heading back skool.. submit overseas form, passport n cheque.. nt sure if dad will fetch mi.. or whether he will attend de briefing.. as parents r welcomed to do so.. well... ltr will noe..

mannn... my eye bags r getting heavier.. couldn't slp after 10.30pm... force myself to slp.. don noe wat i am tinking... also don noe if i am tinking... shiitttt... well.. i nw go rest.. tired..

here to blog...

ytd was working also.. start work at 1.. mom went overseas again.. on back at thur.. house was so much quieter... i was left at home agian.. dad out to jog.. mom overseas..

had breakfast n bath be4 heading to work.. today was working wif biao jie.. sales was nt bad.. nearly hit $400 frm 3pm till 10.30pm.. wat can u expect frm stuff tat de most exp is $79.. well.. for it.. it is good sales le..

dinner was kfc.. AGAIN !!! sick of fast food.. haizz... took a short 15mins nap when no customers as biao jie let mi rest.. weather was hot hot hot..

after work.. head to hav a quick supper wif biao jie... was hungry.. after supper walk home.. took de weights be4 heading to bath.. was sweating alot.. tats good i guess.. slpt at around 1plus...

today.. woke up at 6.30am.. quickly bath n head out.. it was raining during de early morning.. nice weather to slp.. but haizzz... had to work..

1st to reach office.. another auntie was on MC... jus do work.. nth interesting.. lunch was around 12plus.. eat le go take a quick nap.. eyes closing.. nw le.. doing work again... it is freezing cold in office.. i am wearing a jacket.. yet my hands r freezing..

now of days.. when taking a short nap.. i will tink of stupid stuff.. ZHIFAN AH !!! plz wake up... don be in LA LA LAND le.. u always regret when things r nt urs.. plz wake up ur f***ing idea.. u r pathetic.. worthless.. n stupid.. jus wake up... ahhh... F*** IT

here to update blog...

fri was a normal attachment day... nv do much.. jus hlp out wif watever i can... getting more use to attachment boring life...

after attachment head to work... was having a veri bad headache.. was dizzy.. head spinning spinning.. couldn't work.. sigh... but still continue to work... nv did much as nt much sales at night.. den head home by bus.. once home.. bath n took 2 panadol.. den go slp...

sat.. woke up around 11plus.. was better le.. tink i don hav enough slp for de week i guess.. head out to jog.. a hot weather to jog in de afternoon.. work was at 3pm.. told biao jie to change my timing to 3pm... as wan to rest more.. sweating alot at work due to hot weather.. even de air tat de fan blow is warm.. sales was alright.. night time sales was bad... alot of ppl... but nt much sales.. close shop at 10.30pm..

when closing shop.. saw a bapok say hi to mi n another uncle hlping wif close shop.. we jus say hi back n resume closing.. ^^ head home.. did weights n bath...

jus finish my weekly report n submitted it.. nxt week 24th going back skool to submit overseas form for suzhou...

lonely night... finding myself useless n no point living.. hav a freaking car license.. but cannot use dad's lorry... i hav been trying to avoid ppl around mi at times.. i am scare.. scare of my actions will affect ppl around mi... i am realli afraid.. maybe i am too stress..

ytd... went to work as usual.. was feeling better.. lucky whole day was busy till last 1hr.. den relax.. noon had a quick lunch 1 curry bun n 1 can of soya milk..

after work... dad fetch mi.. go skool.. cos wan to submit form for overseas... but teacher nt tat.. wasted trip.. tink nxt monday den submit.. den once home.. change n went to jog.. jog wif dad.. jog around 9km.. WTF !!! now legs sore.. but it feels good..

tue sleep around 10plus.. was tired.. abit down.. so jus rest early.. maybe too tired le..

so freaking tired.. need to adjust my slping time.. or else i look like gaint panda.. update till here.. gt stuff to do..

gt my results back... disappointed wif it.. i also gt tears when i c my results..

gt 3 C+, 2 C n 1 B+... gpa drop.. till 2.6.. haiz... ruin my mood...

ytd i also was in lousy mood.. almost gt myself killed twice when driving dad lorry back home.. cos nearly hit de car in front.. haizzz...

anger was de mood ytd i had... u better be careful.. don let mi catch u hav 1 freaking mistake.. u bs mi i sua.. but u gt my cousin along wif dis shit.. u better watch out..

haizzz... nw tired.. moody... emo.. i realli wan to cry.. haizzz... wat is wrong wif mi.. don blog le.. realli moodless... i need.. i need.. haizz... don wan say le..

here to blog.. sat n sun is a long long day.. work work.. i hav exhausted myself wif work..

sat.. reach work place.. jus slack awhile.. den customers come.. hlp out.. serve abit.. giv flyers.. pack their goods.. oh man.. den when stock low.. i went to showroom to push de stocks over.. scare de glasses fall down.. road straight or nt.. did it a few times.. den de stupid mistake i make is to left my hp in de showroom.. tat lead to alot of problems.. shouldn't hav left my hp on de table.. shit..

but sat sales was great.. tink gt nearly $700 i guess.. cos i nt de 1 in charge of writing de receipt.. work till 11pm.. reach home around 12plus.. exhausted...

den sunday.. woke up n went to jog.. after jog head to work.. de sales for sunday is so so onli.. afternoon weather was freaking hot.. sweat alot.. den around dinner time.. rain veri heavy.. around 8.. i starting to feel tired.. don feel well also.. slight headache.. abit dizzy.. finish work at 10pm.. did closing n head home.. reach home around 11plus..

did de weights.. tok to parents abit.. den bath le online to check mail.. took 2 panadol be4 heading to bed..

de start of de 3rd week of attachment almost don wan come work.. feel lazy to wake up.. but no choice.. sigh.. after heading out.. de rain starts.. heavy rain.. i was caught in de rain abit due to de distance frm bus stop to work place no shelter... freezing cold.. abit flu..

den morning jus did 1 thing.. write stuff... doze off a few times.. cos boring.. n i haven't do my weekly report.. tink tonight den do..

sigh... tired.. getting sick soon... feeling lonely n heart still aches at times.. haizzz... now is de hardest time for mi to get through.. :'(

not onli tat.. king guan sms mi say tonight results out.. still tinking if i wan to c my results or nt tonight.. c how ba..

gt home almost 12 le... where i go ??? work lo..

today whole day was busy at attachment... 1st time nv doze off at work... busy wif work.. tats good as i don like doing nth... had a quick lunch n rest myself.. be4 continue my work..

after attachment... took bus to paya lebar... work lo.. biao jie was dere.. nt much customer be4 8 due to our malay frens break fast.. oh ya.. i work at a fair.. selling glasswares due to de upcoming hari raya.. ^^ dinner was mac.. lol.. fatting lo.. den slack n giv out flyers.. hlp biao jie wif packing..

8plus biao jie left as another uncle came n took over.. work till around 10.30.. slowly pack up... nearly 10 alot of ppl come n see see.. bad timing.. took bus home... was super tired..

once home.. did my workup.. den bath n relax..

ytd le.. ask dad pick mi up.. ^^ he went to de nearest petrol station to pump petrol... den i ask him if i can take over de wheels.. he say nw busy but i say jus drive lo.. slowly lo.. ^^ den he say ok.. haha.. drove de car back.. going through TPE/SLE den go pass compass point den back home.. gt abit of small jam along de way home..

once home.. i change n go for a jog.. wif dad.. run through my normal route.. but wif extra.. run to compass point.. den to seng kang de temple be4 heading back.. pass MIH n yio chu kang pri skool.. den turn at police post dere... took us around 30mins ++ i enjoy de run... n i was pushing myself to de limit.. ^^ after de jog cool down den do my workup.. be4 heading to bath n relax..

tired tired.. today at work.. i jus rmb de book u gav mi.. de book abt us.. feel like crying.. sigh... update till here.. tml working again.. a long long day ahead..

today was a suay day...

not onli am i late for work.. dere was a traffic jam.. n de bus was fully crowded.. in bus.. stomach was pain.. reach attachment place... head straight for de toilet.. after tat.. i sit down n relax.. read newspaper.. de big guy in charge of my place say.. try nt to read de newspaper.. LOL.. den no choice lo.. keep lo.. after tat i did stuff... do hao de stuff.. nth to do.. i fa dai.. den fall asleep.. den my supervisor wake mi up say.. be careful.. ltr de big 1 come back.. haha.. damn suay lo... 1 morning.. so many unlucky stuff happen...

den ytd after work.. dad come pick mi up.. he say go change hp.. cos de $500 vocher is here.. head down to compass point de singtel shop... c c around.. den queue up lo..

de counter guy.. he was patient n friendly.. i *salulate* him.. cos mi n dad ask alot.. den ask dis hp.. tat hp... how much for iphone.. alot la.. den in de end.. i got myself a iphone.. HAHA... FOC.. cos of vocher.. actually is $508 den dad's hp plan deduct another $300... left $208 lo.. den still hav vocher le.. deduct again.. bought some other stuff also.. like de cover for iphone.. a small charger.. for carrying around when de phone no batt.. can charge.. ear piece for my old hp as dad wan to use.. den 1 more HP..

alot right ? de HP is KON JI !!! lol.. nt empty chicken.. no plan sign.. jus de phone.. n it looks like



look like ah beng hp right ??? Motorola V3I.. Gold series.. LOL.. dad say giv mom use.. cos mom complain her hp like no sound like tat..

after tat head home.. relax le.. did some weights.. den go bath n had dinner... boring night.. don hav any nice tv show le..


den jus sit on my bed n slack lo.. den feel lonely.. feel so empty without u.. tears jus drop.. haizz...

i hav been looking at de mirror everytime i bath... i ask myself.. wat happen to mi.. y am i such a jerk at times.. selfish.. don care abt ppl feeling.. WHAT HAPPEN TO ME !!!


update till here.. jus had lunch n feel abit tired.. wan to close eyes awhile.. be4 start doing my work.. hope de rest of de day will be better..

1st time late for attachment... LOL.. 8.10 reach lo.. dis is nt NYP... no 10mins allowance... haha.. oh well.. who cares.. de ppl here relax de... once reach work.. chiong to de toilet.. tama de.. stomach pain lo.. in bus pain liao... hav to tahan.. sian...

office is cold lo... everyday i am shivering... nv bring jacket.. cos don hav 1.. haha.. maybe should go buy 1 jacket.. lunch le.. maybe nt eating.. ltr c how ba.. today woke up.. my left hand gt 1 bruise.. don now how i get it le.. tink my slping posture ba..

mannn... my dark rings.. is getting more jia lat la.. look at mirror.. i look like panda.. O.O

HOW TO CURE DARK RINGS ??? PLZ TELL MI !!! lol.. don say slp more.. cos tat i cannot do anymore.. any other ways ? plz recommend.. thank u.. *bow*

den ytd finish work.. took bus home.. dad was far.. den don wan ask him pick mi up.. along de way i bought 1 ice cream.. long time nv eat le.. once home i relax awhile den go off for jog.. frankly speaking i starting to enjoy jogging lo.. destress myself.. keep my minds off everything.. n enjoy de breeze.. after tat jus do wat i always do.. crunches n weights..

dinner.. i nv eat much.. well.. cos i told mom nt to cook mine as i suppose meet des for dinner... tink is gathering or something.. but cancel.. den my dinner was also vege + potato + rice.. simple.. n full.. den had fruits after tat.. ^^

nv did much after tat.. jus watch tv lo.. lay on my bed n watch tv.. haha.. den slp around 12plus.. couldn't slp.. still tinking of some stuff... de usual stuff.. =( don noe is still pain or i don noe..

update till here.. nw gt stuff to do le.. TIRED LE !!!!

here to blog again...

jus had lunch den took a quick nap.. tired lo.. morning though i was going to be late for attachment.. left home nearly 7am.. but lucky arrive bus stop.. bus come le.. wat is more lucky... GOT SEATS !!! haha.. den close my eyes when in bus ride..

den arrive attachment.. i was asked to print some stuff... print le den check.. check le nth to do liao.. haha.. den doze off wif supervisors around.. =x

den around 11 was given some datas to do.. den take out stapler bullets den shred paper... ^^

ytd was so bored tat i start to edit my blog.. spend de whole afternoon looking at my code.. slowly editing.. den went home n edit de picture n de songs.. i feel so happy tat i edit those stuff.. 1st time edit.. ^^

nw my blog reflect how i feel i guess ??? well... it looks better.. ^^

ytd also dad come pick mi up frm attachment... lol... save time going home on bus.. freaking long bus ride.. dad came frm chinatown dere.. ^^ den once home.. i ate half a pear as lunch nv eat.. den went to jog.. dad say try to jog abit longer distance.. den yeah... i tried le.. after de jog i wasn't panting like i use to.. den after jogging.. went home did crunches n take some weights.. dinner was more of vege.. ^^ healthy diet..

den at night.. watch tv lo... when wan to slp.. i couldn't slp at 1st... tinking of the happy times i had wif u.. but i told myself i had let u down.. n told myself jus go slp.. no use tinking le.. well.. i still miss u... tats all i hav to say..

now is 9am in de morning...

mann... i am tired... ytd n sat was working for de whole day.. work start at 1plus.. end at 11pm for sat n 9.30 for sun... once home.. either my parents r both asleep or my dad is preparing to slp..

ytd my dad even ask mi if i can take it or nt.. saying doing 2 works at once is tiring... if cannot tahan, jus concentrate on attachment tat 1 more important.. hearing tat frm him i tink he can c tat i am super tired.. leaving house be4 both he n mom r awake.. den once home.. they r asleep.. well.. tat is work i guess.. but lucky.. dis week onwards is onli fri to sun... mon to thur can rest..

de more tired i am.. de more wild thoughs i am tinking.. wtf.. everytime i hav a slight wild thoughs... i slap myself up sia.. LOL..

I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP.. n work place cannot use any online chats... they hav block it.. DAMN !!!

i can c de effects of de weight training n crunches i did... well.. stomach going down... WHEEE !!! pants nw abit more loose.. left n right arms.. haha.. more tough.. ^^ need to slowly train myself...

nxt... is to eat more fruits.. n try to jog more.. haha.. aim is to take part in a 10km marathon.. to toughen my legs.. ^^ den is to the GYM !!! haha... hope i don stop la.. cos i always giv up halfway everything i did dis kind of excerise.. =D

well.. tats all to say... i super tired le.. close my eyes awhile since de in charge nt here =x

1st week of attachment jus pass.. well.. attachment is boring... nv did much.. slack more...

hav been working part time after attachment... home is nw like a hotel.. waking up as early as 6am.. by 6.30+ mus leave house le.. den around 6.30pm start part time job.. finish at 10.. den pack up de stall.. reach home around 11plus le... bath den go slp le..

tired tired tired... but after dis month... tink de $$$ is worth it i guess.. ytd had a dream.. dream of u.. maybe i still miss u i guess..

words frm my mouth without tinking... words frm my mouth wif tinking.. n lastly words frm my heart.. i cannot trust myself now of days.. wearing a mask everyday.. is tat de real mi ?

4th day of attachment... i am bored..

1st day of attachment.. arrive early lo.. den sit at HR wait n wait.. be4 i go to doc control.. haha... the ppl dere though i here for interview for their job.. but in de end.. abit shocked tat i was here for attachment.. tink i look old i formal ba.. didn't do much at de 1st day.. jus read up on company profile.. den once release work.. call dad pick mi up ^^ once home.. went for a jog.. healthy healthy..

2nd day ? well.. did stuffs.. something like data entry n stamping of paper.. LOL.. sound bo liao right ??? quite la.. i doze off easily lo.. for 1st day n 2nd day.. den after work.. call dad pick mi up =x cos raining so heavy.. den here no shelter to bus stop.. SUAY !!!

3rd day.. normal lo.. liked 2nd day.. data entry n stamping.. haha.. doze off lesser.. ^^ den after attachment.. head down to work.. haha.. work part time.. need $$$ lo.. start work at 6.. suppose end at 10.. but 9.30 c no ppl.. pack up le.. plus raining so heavy.. all go home liao.. den was hungry... bought 1 pancake n 1 soya milk.. reach home around 11plus.. TIRED !!! bath, check mail den slp le.. ^^

4th day of attachment.. start off wif mi slping.. =x cos onli 1 aunt here.. den nth to do.. jus slp awhile lo.. haha.. den jus nw in de bus.. tama de.. 1 uncle sit beside mi.. my space he take le.. i was slping.. den when bus turn.. he move my side.. nabei.. had a hard time slping in de bus...

ltr still hav to head down to work.. chiong $$$ dis month.. need $$$.. saving up for bike lic n camera.. WHEEEEE